"why... because i want tooooo...!"

This is very difficult post for me to post. In fact by the end I think I'll need a hug. Or a drink.

This past weekend I traveled to El Paso, Texas to meet up with the fam. Don't get me wrong it was all for fun and boy howdeeee, did we ever have some fun, but that is not why this post will be hard. It's going to be hard to post because most of all that fun I just mentioned that we had, was all due to the "private jokes" we created. And private jokes are hard to describe. You know, the whole, "you had to be there..."

Let me start out by saying that the weekend was loaded with lots and lots of estrogen. Everywhere you turned there was a person of the female persuasian. And, they were likely either holding a wine glass or kicking and stretching. Lots and lots of estrogen. Lots and lots of laughs too. The main characters: Cousin Amy-Lou, Aunt Pat and Cousin Dorothy-Joyce (who by the way hates to be called Dorothy-Joyce and would much prefer something like Dotty or Dot or even DJ, but I can't help myself, I've always known her as Dorothy-Joyce, so that is why I call her Dorothy-Joyce. Which now I usually have to follow it with a, "I'm so sorry..." As in, "Hey Dorothy-Joyce, why don't you tell us all about the number 19, since you seem to know it up close and personal... Oh and I'm so sorry for calling you Dorothy-Joyce, but back to that whole 19 times thing..."

Well, when the 4 of us get together, I'm telling you it's like comedy genius is in da house. Maybe if you were there, you'd be rolling your eyes or looking for the nearest exit, but us, we either end up in tears from all the laughter or running to the laundry room to wash all 3 pairs of jeans that we brought because we've pee'd them. All 3 of pair. See, already I've put in 2 inside jokes into this post and you're clueless! You're welcome!!

It's so good to get together with estrogen. A room full of laughing and (peeing)estrogen is my new favorite thing in the whole world. The night of my arrival, we had a room full of it. Well, let's just say there were 9 ladies and 14 bottles of wine. Then we had to go and pull out the nose cups and candy cigarettes and that's when all hell broke loose!! Not to mention Dorothy-Joyce schooled us all on a whole new meaning to the number 19. NINETEEN times ya'll.










There is just something that happens when you get a hold of a candy cigarette; there was all kinds of inhaling and flicking going on..!

The next day... We were just sitting around and decided that these ladies needed to learn a couple of cheers... I mean we were headed to an EstrogenFest - Miss America 2011 Party on Saturday night and these two were going as "Retired OU Cheerleaders." What retired Cheerleaders do you know who don't know a cheer or two? Exactly. So we began coaching them...





Now if only I had thought to grab my video cam sooner... you'd have witnessed many many more out takes. And I would have gladly shared them with you, "Whyyyyy, because I want toooo, no, because I like youuuuu...!" But these are pretty good and if you're not running for your "poise pad" after watching these then something is very wrong with you.

See, this post is killing me, because it really is funny, but since you weren't there, I'm just not sure it has you laughing like we were. It's sort of like when you tell other people about how you've shaved yourself bald and they don't quite understand what you're saying and so you have to do the hand gestures and make the "pshwooo, pshwooo, pshwooo..." sound, so that they can finally get what you mean. Yeah, just like that. Oh well... huuuuuuhhhhhh huuuuuhhhhhhh.....

Speaking of Estrogenfest - Miss America 2011 party, I went to one and it was SO much fun. Everyone who was invited was asked to pick a state, so I picked Alaska. Then we were asked to dress up in our most outrageous outfit to help represent that state, as well as bring a dish that sort of represents our chosen state. I have to confess that even after picking Alaska, I was a bit baffled as to exactly what I was going to dress up as. Last year was easy. Miss Arkansasassy had to wear Long Johns and a Big Tutu right? But what would I do this year? Well, I got a little help from my friend Katie and between the two of us we came up with "Miss Alaskan Queen Crabby..." You know, because I'm the Queen. (Queen of Dorks...) Anyway... The party was a blast as usual, and all of us really out-did ourselves. There was Miss Capital Hill-Billy or as I liked to call her, Barbara's Bush. There were those retired OU Cheerleaders, representing my home state of Oklahoma and then there was one of my personal favorites, Miss New Jersey dressed as a dead ringer for Snookie. And being that she was the hostess of this party, we have to say, Snookie really does know how to party down. (and fall down, apparently!)




For an entire view of my estrogenlaughterpeefilled weekend click here. My only advice would be to maybe prepare yourself with a poise pad, unless you don't mind doing your wash and fold at the laundrymat.

Comments

[Barbara]

OMG! There are POISE pads aplenty over here. I've watched and watched and watched! Can't get enough! Is it next year already?

[Ashleigh]

Priceless, Miss Alaska! The dog was killing me in the videos...apparently he has a thing for or something against cheerleaders...not sure which...hahaha....looks like you had a great time...