Well, most of you who even stop by here already know... I did it!! We finished all 203.5 miles of the Running Relay. It's been about 3 weeks since, but I'm still feeling fondly of the whole experience. Actually to be honest with you, I was MISERABLE the entire time, I complained, I cried, I whimpered, and I even snapped a few times. Hey, you go 40+ hours with only 3 hours of sleep (and not in a row, we're talking 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there...) But, after a good 13 hours of sleep the following evening, and a scarfing of a Chili's Chicken Sandwich with a ginormous bowl of chips and salsa, and a salted margarita the size of Texas, I was fine. Well, as fine as one can be in a sleep-deprived/food coma.
Let me just say it was the worst fun I ever had, and I can't wait for next year! Ragnar Rules..!
Let me introduce The Hot Messes:
Dani... Super hot, and our lone wolf. Traci... Our fearless leader, don't let the smile fool ya, she'll kick your ass and then book it for all to see.
Alexis... Who I like to call Sleeping Beauty. How did she manage to get 6 hours of sleep during the race? Kate... My Bff, touchstone, and attitude checker..! Oh and you should ask her about how she met Jesus himself during leg 2.
Christine... Our wild card, who can kick any hill's ass. And me, who now goes by the name of poopy pants. Yep. Literally. Don't ask.
Van #2 (minus two members... see, I'm truly a hot mess!)
Kristine... she loves yogurt. Not. Sandy... a sweetheart who falls down. Not what you want to do when running 203.5 miles.
Chris... our resident model. Cheryl... our resident bartender. Both good to have as teammates.
We also had Amyand Lyndsey, both who helped us get to the finish line, but for some reason escaped my camera lens.
It was a long 40+ hours of no sleep, little eats, lots of pain, a few tears, and a while lotta cracking up and almost peeing my pants, but we pulled through. All 12 of us Hot Messes had our ups and downs, but in the end we crossed the finish line, got our medals, free beer and called an end to our experience. For me, it was quite a journey. I went from being a 5 year couch potato to running 14 miles between the 3 legs. (wait... that didn't come out right) I joined a gym, and got my butt moving again after 5 glorious long years of non butt moving. I did it. My life has been changed. You could even say transformed. I also met some fabulous ladies, all whom I admire, and respect for their efforts as well. It was completely worth all the training.
And now I don't ever have to fear that I "can't" do it. Because, I CAN.
Here are all the pics from our Ragnar adventure..!!
Back (way back) in July I spent an entire day with 5 kids under the age of 16. That is 5. (FIVE!) I went from having no kids in my presence to having all FIVE of them at once. Without going into too much detail, let's just say that there is a man out there who goes by the name of "Grandpa" who got it in his (unstable) mind that he wanted to take all 5 of his Grandkids on a cross-country road trip in an RV this summer. 4 weeks of bliss for all 6 of them. He had visions of monuments, state lines, campfires, silence, posed photos in front of the Grand Canyon, neat and orderly RV living, the TP to flow over, not under, etc., etc., etc.
What he got was; 4 girls, 2 of whom wanted nothing more than to be reading their books or their cellphone's, or watching you-tube videos to keep their minds occupied and distracted enough to ease the pain that there was not to be any hot-boys on the RV, (and not much chance to meet any hot boys either seeing as Grandpa had something to say about their wardrobe each and every day when they tried to wear a one shoulder'd little number. oh well) and the other 2 girls who like to wear sunglasses, giggle a lot and not provide the silence he so craved. And there was also the 1 boy who liked to hide things, like the laundry money, and Grandpa's megaphone, not to mention purposely make the TP roll under and not over. Are you getting my drift..? This was not a match made in heaven and by the time I "took over" for the day, these kids had had enough. Enough of the RV, enough of the state line's and especially enough of ole' Grandpa.
But once I "took over" the fun really began!! I mean, that was my job right? To swoop in, fill 'em up with sugar, let them run around the beach, ooogle at hot boys,(well, only the two teen girls, duh.) play video games, eat pizza, and cotton candy, jump for joy, listen to the car radio on full blast and just spazz out to the max. And you know what? That is just what we they did.
Best. Day. Ever.
And even though my face hurt the next day from all the laughing, I really really really want them to come back again next year!
If you'd like to see the whole set check it out over here...
(but only if you're not a perv. If you're a perv trying to look at bikini's, then you should go elsewhere. Stupid pervs.)
PS... The Pervs ignored my warning and seemed to come here just to look at all the bikini's, so I had to remove the photos. Ahhhnoying. Pervs are groce.
I normally don't believe in reincarnation. But at this moment in time, I am really starting to wonder if in a former life I wasn't a Polynesian Hero who went by the name of Lapu Lapu. (just take that in for a moment, will ya?)
I'm serious y'all... I think this because when my lips meet the brandy snifter and I'm gulping sipping the famous Lapu Lapu drink while at the Royal Hawaiian, it's as if I'm home. Or at least in my happy place. It's become my number one obsession for the summer of Oh-eleven... Well, besides Subway sandwiches, snarky Jeff Lewis quotes and a certain 11 year old girl who called a crowd of 7 boys who were waving goodbye to her and her two sisters, "Suckahhs," that is.
Here are some shots of this loverly new passion of mine and possibly the recipe. You see it's a highly guarded secret at the Royal Hawaiian, but a simple clickity click of the internets, I've pretty much surmised that this is possibly the closest thing to the real deal. I'll be making them this weekend, so I'll let you know.
Shake all but the dark rum in a cocktail shaker. Pour into a glass of ice. Float the dark rum
I got all the supplies, and we made them this weekend. I have to tell ya, this recipe is VERY close to the real deal. Yummee. It might seem like there is a LOT of syrup going into these, but trust me, the RUM will cut right through it. We also found that if you add more than the suggested amount of the Dark Rum, it taste even more like the original.
The best trick I found out about during this whole process, is the CRUSHED ICE. I searched and searched where to purchase this, as this is seriously the key element to this drink that makes it authentic. I couldn't find anything online other than Ice Warehouse type places, and on a Saturday afternoon, that was the last place I wanted to be hunting down and driving to. So I thought of another idea, and on my first try I discovered a gold mine. I popped into an AM/PM and Ka-Poweeeee there it was in all it's glory. At the soda machine, they have both cubed ice and crushed ice pellets all for the taking. I thought I'd have to pay full price ($1.79 each cup) but when I got to the register, they only charged me .50 for each cup. So I ended up with 104oz of ice pellets and that was perfect! SCORE!!!
Okay, so I've been just a bit busy handling my business summer... I guess you could say, "I'm making the summer of oh-eleven my bitch..!" That's right.
So far......... I've been to the beach, had a visitor, celebrated my 29th, er 47th birthday at a casino, ridden a moped, and eaten enough Subway sandwiches to push them right into having one of their best fiscal year's they've seen in a long time. And all of it has given me more than enough smiles to make up for last year (ugh) and to last me right into next year...
First up, the nephew visits... He came home for a few weeks to celebrate his graduation from college as well as prepare to take on his real life (job) upon his return to NYC. On our first night we made lots of snacks, sangria and kereoke'd out in the backyard...
The next day we headed down to Laguna Beach and hopped on our mopeds for a four hour tour... Can you believe we actually survived? I wore a poise pad, just in case and then we showed them who's boss. As in Boss Hogg...
And now you know why I love the nephew so much and also why I need a permanent poise pad when he's around...
(there's more to come, I promise, but for now I gotsta get back to beating this summer's ass...
This is very difficult post for me to post. In fact by the end I think I'll need a hug. Or a drink.
This past weekend I traveled to El Paso, Texas to meet up with the fam. Don't get me wrong it was all for fun and boy howdeeee, did we ever have some fun, but that is not why this post will be hard. It's going to be hard to post because most of all that fun I just mentioned that we had, was all due to the "private jokes" we created. And private jokes are hard to describe. You know, the whole, "you had to be there..."
Let me start out by saying that the weekend was loaded with lots and lots of estrogen. Everywhere you turned there was a person of the female persuasian. And, they were likely either holding a wine glass or kicking and stretching. Lots and lots of estrogen. Lots and lots of laughs too. The main characters:
Aunt Pat and
(who by the way hates to be called Dorothy-Joyce and would much prefer something like Dotty or Dot or even DJ, but I can't help myself, I've always known her as Dorothy-Joyce, so that is why I call her Dorothy-Joyce.
Which now I usually have to follow it with a, "I'm so sorry..." As in, "Hey Dorothy-Joyce, why don't you tell us all about the number 19, since you seem to know it up close and personal... Oh and I'm so sorry for calling you Dorothy-Joyce, but back to that whole 19 times thing..."
Well, when the 4 of us get together, I'm telling you it's like comedy genius is in da house. Maybe if you were there, you'd be rolling your eyes or looking for the nearest exit, but us, we either end up in tears from all the laughter or running to the laundry room to wash all 3 pairs of jeans that we brought because we've pee'd them. All 3 of pair. See, already I've put in 2 inside jokes into this post and you're clueless! You're welcome!!
It's so good to get together with estrogen. A room full of laughing and (peeing)estrogen is my new favorite thing in the whole world. The night of my arrival, we had a room full of it. Well, let's just say there were 9 ladies and 14 bottles of wine. Then we had to go and pull out the nose cups and candy cigarettes and that's when all hell broke loose!! Not to mention Dorothy-Joyce schooled us all on a whole new meaning to the number 19. NINETEEN times ya'll.
There is just something that happens when you get a hold of a candy cigarette; there was all kinds of inhaling and flicking going on..!
The next day... We were just sitting around and decided that these ladies needed to learn a couple of cheers... I mean we were headed to an EstrogenFest - Miss America 2011 Party on Saturday night and these two were going as "Retired OU Cheerleaders." What retired Cheerleaders do you know who don't know a cheer or two? Exactly. So we began coaching them...
Now if only I had thought to grab my video cam sooner... you'd have witnessed many many more out takes. And I would have gladly shared them with you, "Whyyyyy, because I want toooo, no, because I like youuuuu...!" But these are pretty good and if you're not running for your "poise pad" after watching these then something is very wrong with you.
See, this post is killing me, because it really is funny, but since you weren't there, I'm just not sure it has you laughing like we were. It's sort of like when you tell other people about how you've shaved yourself bald and they don't quite understand what you're saying and so you have to do the hand gestures and make the "pshwooo, pshwooo, pshwooo..." sound, so that they can finally get what you mean. Yeah, just like that. Oh well... huuuuuuhhhhhh huuuuuhhhhhhh.....
Speaking of Estrogenfest - Miss America 2011 party, I went to one and it was SO much fun. Everyone who was invited was asked to pick a state, so I picked Alaska. Then we were asked to dress up in our most outrageous outfit to help represent that state, as well as bring a dish that sort of represents our chosen state. I have to confess that even after picking Alaska, I was a bit baffled as to exactly what I was going to dress up as. Last year was easy. Miss Arkansasassy had to wear Long Johns and a Big Tutu right? But what would I do this year? Well, I got a little help from my friend Katie and between the two of us we came up with "Miss Alaskan Queen Crabby..." You know, because I'm the Queen. (Queen of Dorks...) Anyway... The party was a blast as usual, and all of us really out-did ourselves. There was Miss Capital Hill-Billy or as I liked to call her, Barbara's Bush. There were those retired OU Cheerleaders, representing my home state of Oklahoma and then there was one of my personal favorites, Miss New Jersey dressed as a dead ringer for Snookie. And being that she was the hostess of this party, we have to say, Snookie really does know how to party down. (and fall down, apparently!)
For an entire view of my estrogenlaughterpeefilled weekend click here. My only advice would be to maybe prepare yourself with a poise pad, unless you don't mind doing your wash and fold at the laundrymat.
It turns out that when "the nephew" was here a few weeks ago, he took a poop-load of photos. He not only is months away from turning 21, graduating college, and beginning his career on Wall Street, ("Wha hapon to my baby nephew, Christian..?") but he is quite handy dandy with the camera.
It's all fun and games when there aren't cocktails involved, but unfortunately for me, when we're together there are usualy cocktails involved. He claims over his 4 week vacation he took over 2000 photos and that it will take him quite a bit of time to get them uploaded. But somehow he managed to get this one up and going. Hmmm...
Who is this woman and why is she wearing my clothes?
Well, Halloween 2009 has come and gone. I mostly have great memories of Halloween's past... Well, except for that one year I dressed up as a clown and my mom painted my face. With REAL paint. Acrylic paint. The kind that sticks to your skin and makes it itch and also makes you want to peel it off so that it doesn't hurt anymore and then you lose the contest because your face no longer looks like a clown, but more like a clown who was beat up by those kind of people who hate clowns. Yeah, that year not so much my fave.
TL was way into it this year. This is the guy who usually says very little. The most I usually hear from him is things like; "Shhh, it's quiet time..!" or "Are you still talking..?" or "Shhh, it's quiet time..!" Out of the( almost) 18 years I've known him, I've only known him to dress up on Halloween or any other time, ummm let's see, NEVER! But this year he was determined to win the "Big Prize" at his work. They were giving away $250.00 to the top costume... I present to you: "One Night Stand"
Oh, and I had to get in the game also... It's an oldie, but a goodie!!