You were a lovely lady... Always so kind, usually smiling, and usually laughing. You saw the lighter side of life and mostly just wanted to have fun. Even back in the day before I became your daughter, I always felt like you were a mom to me. You saw right from wrong, you knew things. You always let me cry when I wanted to cry and you always laughed at my silly stories. It meant so much to me when you would tell me that you always wished you could have met my mom. I think she would have liked to have met you too. You have truly hung in there these last few years like no trooper I've ever known. A lady full of strength. I will miss getting to share with you the love I have for your son. You always told me you were glad he "finally got it right." I will miss our talks, and I will miss hearing you laugh. I promise to care for and love with all of my heart your youngest son for the rest of my life.
I stumbled on this marketing scheme from Star*buck's. Super cool. I love me some personalized coffee drinks and what I love even more is a personalized t-shirt. What makes this even better is that it all comes from my favorite designer from last year's Project Runway show. Michael Knight. Who by the way is now going by Mychael and not Michael... Sort of like when I was 18 and felt like jill was just too boring, so I started telling everyone that my name was jillian... I got over it and hopefully he will too. I felt like he got jipped in the end when he lost to that horrible of a designer-slash-person, Jeffrey. But we won't get into it. I'm just glad to see that he is out there "doing it."
Being abrubtly woken up at 3:49 am by a LOUD screeching noise coming from the hallway only to realize once I came to that it was the smoke detector going off. Loudly. After I lifted myself up of the floor after falling out of the bed, I ran to the hallway directly underneath the LOUD screeching to see if I could get it to stop. I tried prying it open with my fingers, only to cut my middle finger on the antiquated plastic cover, but when it still wouldn't break free, I ran to the kitchen to grab the Swifter, "I'll bang it so hard it will have to stop..." Well, the banging didn't work, but with the pointy tip of said Swifter I was able to finally pry open the cover and finally the LOUD screeching stopped. Although you'd never know it by the new noise that had replaced the screeching, my heart pounding. I just stood there with my hand to my heart hoping that it would stop beating so fast... I then realized that maybe I should check the house for smoke. "You think?" Nowhere did I see any flames or smell any smoke, so I just went back to bed. However, I never actually went back to sleep. My heart never did stop racing and for the rest of the morning until I finally got up at 6:00 am, I layed there paranoid of burning to death. Every sound, creek, crack in the walls had me really nervous.
Funny thing is, even if TL had been here and not in New York spending time with Doris, I think the scenario would have played exactly the same. But with him snoring in the background.
Today would have been my mom's 69th birthday. Missing her consumes me on days like today. She was my best friend, my favorite person I've ever met, and my dancing queen. My mom loved to party. She was usually the life of any party. When I talk about her with people who knew her, like family and her friends, they all say the same thing, "Pat loved to have fun!" One of my Uncle Alan's memories of her was back in the day they all went out dancing one night... He just remembers her kicking up her heels on the dance floor. Literally. He says she was dancing with such gusto she "kicked" a picture right off the wall of the club. Hee.
And, one my memories of her was during the summer of 1992, one of my girlfriends, Tina, and I were sitting around the house moping over lost boyfriends, and my mom was like, "Get over yourselves girls, we're going out." So, the 3 of us took off to a local bar (read: dump) and proceeded to party the night away. They didn't have a band or anything, just a jukebox and let me tell you, I played enough quarters that night to fund a small third world country. Upon hearing her all time favorite song, "You Dropped the Bomb on Me," by the GAP Band, my mom ran to the dance floor while dragging Tina and I out there with her. There we were, 3 sad sacks, dancing the night away when all of a sudden my mom froze with a look of horror on her face. Crack. There went her hip, right out of it's socket. The party ended right then and there and for her remaing years, her hip was never the same. She threw out her hip while dancing to the GAP Band at Duffers. Gotta love that. And I did, and I loved her too.
Here is a picture of my mom on or around her 32nd Birthday (1970 ish) dancing with a family friend in our living room. This is one of my all time favorite snapshots of her, as it just completely shows her persona. This is Pat Spear in all her glory; Tan, fresh, tipsy, stylin', dancing.